the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
