i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
