This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
