I don't think brook has ever known best
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She announced her abortion via fbk
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
