Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
