Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
