Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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