She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
