My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
