They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
