guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
