her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
