everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
