go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is Oprah even human
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
