I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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