I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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