im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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