I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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