I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
