Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
