Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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