Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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