He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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