My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
