come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
