If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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