i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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