Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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