Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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