they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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