:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
