I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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