I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
