I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
