Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
