he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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