I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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