I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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