He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
