Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
