I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize