we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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