does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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