she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
