I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
