Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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