he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
