Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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