I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I fill condoms, not promises.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
