sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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