I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
