i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
