She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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