do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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