yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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