do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
