anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize