Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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