How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
