well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
